Yesterday, I lost the delete and back space button. Today, I’m so glad to have them back! The assignment for day #4 is to write about something you lost. At first, I almost said see Day#2 assignment and called it a night. Then I thought maybe I will write about the time I lost my virginity. Don’t judge me Blogging University students! You thought about it too for a brief second. As did I. See? Like I said it was brief. Which is too bad, because it could have been a fantastical story. All fiction, but fantastical.
This is what I decided on: Losing some of my stomach, intestine and gallbladder. For as long as I can remember, I was heavy. Even as a child. I clearly remember being at a brand new school in the fourth grade, and one of the girls called me “fat mama shorts”. I never wore shorts again. I exercised. I tried diet after diet, after diet. Phen fen? Anyone remember Phen fen? At one point in time, circa 2006, I was at my highest weight, over 300 lbs. My marriage was falling apart. I had a brand new baby. My dad had recently died of essentially complications from Diabetes. I needed to be in control of SOMETHING. I wanted to see my baby grow up. I wanted to be healthy, and teach her healthy habits. To not have her go through the “fat mama shorts” stage. A decision had been made. By me, and only me to have gastric bypass surgery. I went through the nutrition counseling, and the psych evaluation, and started exercising consistently. I set a date. January 29, 2007. In my brain it was monumental. It was a constant tug of war between being healthy and my love of bad food. And to this day. I. LOVE. FOOD. I could never be smart about it. Until January 30, 2007 when there wasn’t a choice.
The surgery, a Roux en Y gastric bypass, I lost a bit of my stomach, part of my intestine, and I lost a gallbladder (incidental loss). In the end, I also lost 150 lbs. (I have regained a little). Everyone thinks gastric bypass is the easy way out. It really isn’t. There is as much work now as before just to maintain the ideal weight. I’ve had to retrain how I eat (yes, how), what I eat, how much I eat. Don’t even get me started on drinking. Trust me, I’ve tried drinking like I still weigh 300 lbs! Yeah..my body violently rejects the idea. Luckily, I can still have a drink or two. Let me rephrase. The kids are lucky I can still have a drink or two.
Ok…so I’m bitter about somethings. As previously stated in other posts, I have a sweet tooth. And I think we’ve established, not just one. So that really sucks. Chocolate chip cookies are on the table though! I had to do it. I’m not a saint, I just wanted to be healthy. My daughter chooses healthy options on her own, so at least I’m educating her. She doesn’t remember what I looked like pre-organ hacking. I have pictures. She can look at those.
Proudly, I’ve still lost over 100 lbs, I’ve completed 2 Half marathons, and I’m about to start training for my 3rd. Eight years ago, if you would have told me I would be marathon training, I would have told you, you are effing crazy.
Sometimes, there’s a lot to gain by losing.